Depression.

So recently I have been battling depression, and I know some people don’t like it when you say “battling” because it not like I’m battling cancer or a cold. Although depression in a mental disease, once you get it once you are more susceptible to being burdened with it again and again, and again. This is now my third time having it and I knew exactly what is was when I first started showing the symptoms, and when I have depression my mother gets very worried that I was self harm. Which is not the case but she is my mother and worries, completely understandable. Well yesterday was a bad day for me, I got into a yelling battle with my dad, broke down and cried to my mom and almost got arrested. Yea crazy day for me but, for you I will rewind and explain what happened. So you see for the last couple of weeks, well actually since my boyfriend moved to Scranton and I moved back in with my parents I became depressed. When I am I sleeping, a lot! Lately since the depression started I have been up all night and then go to bed at six in the morning and then sleep till two or three in the afternoon. Well my dad was finally done with me sleeping all the time and he started to yell at me in the yard in front of our neighbors and everything. I got extremely mad and started to yell back, normally I keep it quiet and let him yell, with yelling back at him it makes everything worse but everything built up inside of me and I exploded. Well then I started to cry, which is not like me. So I knew that I needed to call my doctor and did and scheduled an appointment for today. Well when I picked up my mom from work she knew something was wrong. So when we arrived back home she walked  in the house and started to yell at my dad because she knew I was depressed and he made it worse. Well then I just had to go walk so I turned on my music and drowned my worries in the lyrics, melodies, and bass of the music. I then walked home after an hour of walking in the cold, but I was so upset and sidetracked that my body was  on fire so I never felt  the cold. It was like I was numb to everything except th  music flowing into me and making me remember that it’s jot always this bad. Well when unperturbed home was father was still awake, he works third shift so I thought he would be sleeping. Acting as if the fight had never happened that my sorrowies were not to his concern. When I walked through the door I saw him sitting on the couch and turned around and went to my neighbors. Joey answered the door and came out to smoke with me, but that’s not all he hugged me. I know that’s not a big deal but, to me it is. It wasn’t an oh I want you hug it was a genuine worried hug. He talked to me and calmed me down and made me feel better. He was not  like a father to me than my own father was at the time. Then he dragged me to dollar General with him and we saw my mom and told me the constable was there for me. I owed $10 for the fines for my car accident last September. Ten fricken dollars and they were gonna have him arrest me and take me there, but because of how late it was I would of sat in jail for the night and had to wait free r the court house to open. Well Joey paid $76.40 (the ten for the fine and the fees for the constable). My parents are going to pay him back Friday, but that was just great of him and I appreciate it so much. Then we wen  to dollar General and he bought me melatonin to help me sleep at night. And we went to Berrigans sub shop to get him and permit, his wife/girlfriend dinner and he bought me a half too. They have been so great to me but that’s for a different post. And then I came home took my melatonin, got a shower then fell asleep. This morning I woke up at 6:50 am! I was so surprised and I went to the doctors appointment for my depression but I’ll leave that for another post too. So check back in to see what happened at my doctors appointment today, and all the crazy things I have to do. So until then stay classy! 🙂

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